Tending the Bones: A Somatic Journey to Heal Transgenerational Sexual Trauma
13 months of:
Developing a personal relationship with your well, bright ancestral guides
Ancestral ritual
Embodiment & somatic practice
Live ritual support
Downloadable Audio content
Workbooks, prayers, poetry and art
Prayer
Curated Bespoken Bones Podcast episodes
14-Day Money Back Guarantee
Tending the Bones
To begin to unwind transgenerational sexual trauma, you must first have the framework that it exists.
Your expression of your sexuality and your erotic self are blocked by something you can feel, but cannot see.
Trauma is held in the tissues of your body.
It may or may not be yours.
It prevents you from accessing the fullness of your sexuality, the depth of your capacity for closeness and intimacy, even as you value those things deeply.
Perhaps it feels that you are holding old pain and blocks around sex and intimacy that come from your mother, your father, your grandparents, or even from older ancestors whose names you do not know.
It's possible you can be physically close with a partner, but your heart remains unavailable.
Or when your heart is connected to another, physical intimacy becomes a challenge.
You may or may not have experienced the pain of sexual trauma during your life, but it may feel as if you have.
There is impact from the sexuality of your ancestors.
These impacts can be positive or negative, or sometimes both.
Is it for me?
Are you impacted by Transgenerational Sexual Trauma?
Consider these questions:
Do you experience sexual shame?
Have you experienced sexual abuse, including incest and rape?
Is there any sexual trauma in your bloodlines as a result of war?
Do you have or does your family have a history of Interpersonal partner violence (IPV)?
Were you, any living relatives, or ancestors’ kicked out of the family home as a result of early pregnancy?
Do you experience an unexplained fear of sex?
Is there repression of sexuality in your family of origin that has led to shame, especially around marginalized sexual orientations?
Are silence and secrecy ways you know about problematic sexual past experiences of ancestors, even without access to the full information?
Are you aware of having perpetrators of sexual violence as ancestors?
Have you or your people experienced cultural and historical influences that repress the free expression of sexuality?
If you nodded yes to several of these,
or feel a sense of connection to these experiences as you read them, chances are you do carry transgenerational trauma.
I'm sorry.
But there is good news, too.
Because with that, you also have the possibility of experiencing goodness in your sexuality that hails from your people.
Because often, when there is wounding around sexuality, there is also a deep well of healing.
To work through your transgenerational sexual trauma and also allow yourself to feel all of the sexual goodness possible, you must deepen your relationship with both your sexuality, and your people.
What about you?
You've tried other things to find a sexuality that fits who you are.
You are starting to think that erotic freedom might just be for other people, not for you.
Therapy, bodywork, and all of it has helped, has been a piece of your healing, but none of that has completely addressed the blocks you feel in your body and in your relationships.
Especially around sexuality.
And worse, you may feel a loyalty to that pain.
How would the justice your ancestors call for happen if you no longer felt their pain?
Ancestral sexual burdens you may be carrying, these are things like shame, repression, sexual violence (perpetrator or victim) or residual sexual trauma that has been passed down to you.
If you personally have sexual trauma these can become entangled, so that it’s difficult to know what is yours, and what was handed to you.
Transgenerational sexual messaging happened to us all in our families.
In some cases, it was a complete lack of information or silence around sexuality education. In others, sex was explicitly deemed negative.
For example, if you had a repressive religious upbringing, chances are that your sexual self-exploration has been impacted, without you ever having a chance to first figure out what your body does.
You were not given the freedom to find what feels right to you personally.
Sexual blessings you may be heir to include lustiness, sexual freedom, strong libido, and erotic attunement.
They may be things like feeling great about sex or your body.
Can you think right now of one positive message you received from your family about sexuality?
How has that informed your sexuality?
Relating with your elevated ancestors can support your healing of sexual trauma, both personally and transgenerationally.
Tending the Bones is a 13-month-long exquisite container, carefully structured for you to do your deepest work around sexuality, intimacy, trauma, and healing.
What if it could be better?
Results you can expect
Typical experiences people report at the end of the container include
Finally able to tell what is truly yours and what was handed to you by your ancestors.
Laying down inherited burdens of sexual shame, repression, violence, or trauma you have carried far too long.
Feeling your body loosen and open as ancestral pain untangles from your own story.
Letting go of the quiet fear that erotic freedom is for other people and claiming it for yourself.
Honoring your ancestors’ truths without letting their wounds dictate your pleasure.
Remembering and reclaiming the sexual blessings in your lineage such as lustiness, joy, and deep erotic attunement.
Moving in your body with more confidence, freedom, and self-trust.
Rewriting family sexual scripts that once silenced or shamed you.
Experiencing the steady and tender support of a small group who truly sees and understands you.
Resting into a spacious 13-month container that holds your deepest healing and transformation.
Testimonials from Tending the Bones
Briana
California
"At the time I started Tending the Bones, I felt broken, like there was something wrong with me. Now I realize there’s nothing wrong with me — the world just doesn’t have this kind of support."
Water
New Mexico
"When I began, I identified as asexual from a place of fear. Now I feel an absolute wellspring of erotic energy — one I want to share with others and with myself."
Maz
NYC
"At the start, I wrote down: ‘I want to believe my pleasure is real.’ Now I do — and that feels like a huge transformation."
Your Guide
Meet Dr. Pavini Moray
I've been through it. And can be with you as you heal.
Why I Am Your Guide
For years I carried the weight of sexual trauma in my body. It disrupted my sexuality and strained my most intimate relationships.
Talk therapy helped in some ways, but something was still missing.
Everything began to shift when I found a somatics practitioner who worked specifically with sexual trauma.
Layer by layer, we uncovered not only the impact of my own experiences but also the sexual violations that lived in my family line.
I began to see how these unspoken histories had shaped my body, my relationships, and my sense of self.
When I started guiding clients in sexual healing, I noticed the same pattern.
Many would say, “I was abused, my mom was too, my grandma too… I think there is a connection.”
I wanted to understand that connection and find ways to help it heal. That question became the focus of my doctoral research.
I went on to earn my PhD studying the phenomenon of transgenerational sexual trauma and how it can be transformed.
Tending the Bones is built directly from my dissertation research, bringing that knowledge into a living, breathing practice for your healing.
What I discovered was clear and life-changing: transgenerational sexual trauma is real.
For those who have any connection with their ancestors, it is an essential part of the healing process.
And it can be transformed as you do your own healing work.
What happens in Tending the Bones?
Each of the 13 modules includes:
-Audio Recordings
-Workbook
-Prayer
-Ritual
-Poetry
-Practices
-Curated Bespoken Bones Podcast Episodes
PLUS live quarterly rituals and Q & A with Pavini
What will I be doing?
The container is a 13-month long process divided into three sections: Build Inner Resources, Heal, and Savor.
SECTION ONE: BUILD INNER RESOURCES
In Section 1 of Tending the Bones, we root first in positive resource.
You develop embodiment skills, practice physical, verbal and energetic boundaries. Together, we learn how to truly belong in multi-generational community that celebrates eldership, when trauma is present. You learn and practice the skill of discernment.
You learn to connect with your well and bright ancestral guides. And we create somatic and prayerful community ritual to anchor in goodness. We deepen into community intimacy and connection, for the sake of holding each other well on this journey.
These foundational practices build the skills, resources and connections necessary to move into Section Two, "Healing."
Moonth 1: Intention
In Moonth 1 of Tending the Bones, you will set intention for your process and learn about grounding, boundaries, discernment, and containment of energies. You will set up your healing altar.
Moonth 2: Grounding
'Moonth 2: Grounding' provides additional foundational resources as you embark on your healing process. This includes what it means to choose wellness, practices for grounding and connecting with the land and feeling safe in your body. You learn a variety of ancestral reverence practices.
Moonth 3: Belonging
'Moonth 3: Belonging' supports you in finding a feeling of belonging. Through addressing attachment wounds and patterns, you examine your attachment style. You will work with well ancestral guides to create secure attachment and belonging. This moonth also offers you practices of spiritual hygiene and discernment.
Moonth 4: Resilience
'Moonth 4: Resilience' helps you understand your resilience and supports you in increasing it. You explore the survival narratives of your ancestors and create a resiliency plan. You also learn three somatic practices for resourcing yourself through embodiment.
SECTION TWO: HEALING
In Section 2 of Tending the Bones, , you are supported in loosening the grip of trauma in your body. There is a healing place in all our hearts. Through clearly assessing the current state of things, as they exist in your body, you begin to come to terms with what is. You will understand the ancestral burdens and blessings you embody. There will be acknowledgment of what has happened, to you, to your community, and to your people, living and dead. Acknowledgment sows the seeds of justice.
Collectively we create corrective medicine experiences using sacred movement, voice, and ritual. Together we hold the container of what has happened. While this might sound overwhelming, we have built a communal foundation of capacity that is solid enough to do this level of healing, both personal and collective. With the help of your well and bright ancestors, any heavy or unwell energies attached to your bloodlines will be transformed. This is the healing of transgenerational trauma.
Moonth 5: Acknowledgement
'Moonth 5: Acknowledgement' supports you in acknowledging the impact of the trauma you and your ancestors have experienced. The first step is to investigate the protective qualities of denial as a strategy. Then, you can gently move towards recognizing the personal and lineage impact of sexual harm. Acknowledgment is the first step in healing.
Moonth 6: Justice
'Moonth 6: Justice' invites you to contemplate what justice means to you. This moonth begins by discussing different justice models and how justice is a personal experience. You explore and define justice for yourself within a non-retributive, embodied model.
Moonth 7: Freedom
'Moonth 7: Freedom' provides a conceptual framework of body liberation. The moonth begins by discussing the complex role of shame in the trauma healing process. This moonth holds that your body is a source of wisdom rather than pathology. You get to explore the somatic strategy of disembodiment/disassociation as a wise tactic. Instead of enforcing mindful presence as an automatic stage of the healing process, you get a choice. How can placing your attention in your body be a friend? When is it not helpful? This moonth aims to give you more choice about how you live your body.
Moonth 8: Transformation
'Moonth 8: Transformation' provides you with somatic tools that support your embodiment and transformation. Beginning with a discussion of what embodiment means (based on choosing presence practiced in the previous moonth), you receive practical guidance that builds toward erotic embodiment. This includes breath, sensation, movement, vocalization, and attention toward the senses as tools you can use to connect more with your body.
Moonth 9: Sovereignty
'Moonth 9: Sovereignty' empowers you to develop sovereign sexuality based on exploring who you are and who you want as a sexual being. You learn the concept of inner sexuality, the most sacred and intimate version of a person's sexual self. It explores the 'outer' sexuality, where one's desires, fantasies, and boundaries meet the world, including the capacity to say "yes" and "no." The moonth invites you to dream and expand who you can be as you inhabit your full erotic power.
SECTION THREE: SAVOR
In Section 3 of Tending the Bones, we langour in the garden, and are nourished by the fountain of honey. We embody slowness and sensuality. We practice exquisite consent and boundaries. We find our way to feeling desire deeply, and learning to speak of these things shamelessly. Your capacity for presence increases. You find your way into the delight of the body, the elegance of your pleasure. Through communal erotic practice within an intimate and safe container that we have built for a year, bodies can relax and allow full erotic expression.
During Section 3, you consciously develop and practice erotic wellness, on your own terms. You are also updating your intimacy beliefs and skillset, for the sake of being able to stay connected with yourself while in deep closeness with others.
Moonth 10: Blessing
'Moonth 10: Blessing' helps you connect concretely with your sexuality. You begin this moonth by considering the burdens and blessings you inherited from your ancestors around sexuality. Then you explore sexual freedom and sexual self-esteem and how you can embody blessings received from your ancestral lineages around sex and gender. This moonth, you dive into your own sexuality, learning more about your body and your pleasure for your erotic embodiment.
Moonth 11: Pleasure
'Moonth 11: Pleasure' helps you vastly expand your concept of pleasure. By deconstructing capitalism and pleasure, you rewild your capacity for delight and feeling good. This moonth, you are guided to practices of ecstasy and the healing power of pleasure, on your terms.
Moonth 12: Ancestors
'Moonth 12: Ancestors' helps you contextualize healthy sexuality within an intergenerational framework. This moonth investigates healing as a community endeavor. Understanding the context of ancestral sexuality and giving it right-sized attention makes the transformation of sexuality within a blood lineage possible. You learn ritually safe ways to create healing at a potentially taboo intersection. Next, you get a vision of what radiantly healthy sexuality could look like.
Moonth 13: Integration
'Moonth 13: Integration' imparts the importance of integration and practical strategies for incorporating all the learning and exploring you have completed. You return to the foundations of the work: protection matters. Next, you pay the healing forward. By creating a pleasure bundle, you offer blessings and prayers for the sexual wholeness of all your descendants (blood, heart, and otherwise). You write your liberation narrative. There is guidance for moving forward.
FAQ section
Frequently asked questions
Frequently Asked Questions about the Tending the Bones Ritual Container
What is the Tending the Bones ritual container?
It is a 13-month audio journey through the practices and rituals in my book Tending the Bones: Reclaiming Pleasure after Transgenerational Sexual Trauma. The course offers structure, pacing, and guidance so you can move through the material in a grounded way.
How is the container structured?
There are 13 modules called "moonths, each with an audio teaching, a ritual practice, a poem, and exercises for reflection and embodiment. Each module builds on the last. You work through the content for that month on your own. We gather quarterly for ritual and Q & A.
Do I need to read the book to be in the container?
No. The book and course contain different material and work well together, but each stands on its own.
Can I go at my own pace?
Yes. You will receive one module of content each 30 days. You will retain perpetual access to the content. I suggest one module per month, but you may need more than one month for some modules.
Is sliding scale available?
The full cost of this program is $897, which I believe is a fair reflection of the labor, care, and years of study that went into creating it. This work is also part of my livelihood.
I know not everyone who needs this program has equal financial access. For that reason, I reserve a limited number of sliding scale spots. These are intended for people who would not be able to participate at the full rate without real hardship.
If you’re requesting a sliding scale spot, please fill out this form.
Can I work with you one-on-one while I take the course?
Yes. Once you purchase the course, you will receive a link to book sessions with me at a special rate.
Is this class live?
Yes. It is a hybrid online live/evergreen version. You work with the content online. You will receive invitations to quarterly rituals and Q & A sessions. I am active in the forum and responsive to your questions.
I created it like this so you can start when you are ready, pause when you need to, and revisit the work as often as you like.
Will my participation be private?
While you work through the content, yes. If you choose to come to the live community online rituals and Q & A that happen quarterly, you can choose to be on or off screen, and how you participate.
Do I have to share my reflections with you?
No. The practices are for your own process. You can choose to share if you work with me individually.
What is the time commitment each month?
Most people spend 4-6 hours per month listening, reflecting, and doing the practices.
Will this course be triggering?
It may be. Healing sexual and ancestral trauma can stir memories or sensations. The course emphasizes pacing, consent, and listening to your body. If you become overwhelmed, you can slow down, skip a practice, or seek support. That said, I have done my best to keep it trauma-informed and there are no explicit descriptions of sexual violence.
Is this a substitute for therapy?
No. It can complement your therapy or other healing work.
What if I have a question?
You can post a question inside the course platform at any time, and I will respond. This way you can get clarity and support without having to book a full session. You can also attend the live Ritual and Q & A quarterly sessions.
What is the Money-Back Guarantee?
Try the container for 14 days, and if it is not a perfect fit, email me for a full refund, no questions asked.
Does the container start/end on a particular date?
The container doesn’t follow a fixed calendar. Admission is rolling, which means you have the rare freedom to enter when the timing is right for you. This flexibility is intentional. It ensures that your journey begins at the exact moment you’re ready, rather than being dictated by someone else’s schedule.
- $797 or 5 monthly payments of $160
Tending the Bones: A 13 month somatic journey of ancestral ritual and embodiment to heal transgenerational sexual trauma
- Course
- 133 Lessons
Ritual Container